Special offer for Chinese military hackers

Hey comradpl coveres, thanks for hitting my blog — whether you’ve just pulled it up normally or are watching along via remote as I type this. (It’s probably the latter . . . I shouldn’t have opened that email from Jurgen Klinsmann with the “Eric I need your help with our formation vs. Honduras” subject line.)

Having a good morning so far? How was the air on the way to work today — was the meter up in the “Do Not Breathe” category, or higher again?

I know you’re anxious to read my books, and I’m sure you can get them online for free by using “the Party discount” (wink) somehow, but let me point you to the paperback versions, which are beautiful and come with that new-book smell. The cover of Pearl Lagoon is a genuine map of Nicaragua — a nation vitally important to the security of the U.S., which is why we’ve had to help shoot so many people there over the years — which is stored at the Library of Congress, to give you an idea of its importance. Plus, inside you’ll find references to Chinese influence in Bluefields dating back to the beginning of the last century. Well, reference singular, anyway.

(Bonus intelligence: When I lived there I went to a dinner party once, to which guests were to bring a dish and talk about it; and one of these Chinese-Nicaraguan gentlemen brought a dessert and said it was “sweet, like Nicaragua.” The other guests loved it. You catch more flies with honey than vinegar, guys, I’m telling you.)

Also in Pearl Lagoon you will find vital information about reforms that have been made to the foreign service of the U.S. as recently as ninety or so years ago (the Rogers Act). You cannot buy information this good, my friends. Actually, you can — contact me by sending a text to my microwave time display, or whatever, and I’ll give you a 6.5% discount, or 7.8% for orders of 100,000 or more.

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